Re: [MLUG - DISCUSSION] I'm in the Missourian

[Stephen Montgomery-Smith <EMAIL:PROTECTED>]

McNutt, Justin M. wrote:
> > Personally I find Mike's messages to be a real mix.  What I do these 
> > days is to ignore the "move-on.org" type postings, but he has a lot of
>
> > other stuff to say that is definitely worth reading.  Sometimes he can
>
> > post very encouraging and/or helpful messages.  I think a wiser
> approach 
> > is not to delete everything he posts, but rather pick and choose what 
> > you read or respond to.
> >
> > And the other thing I really, really appreciate about Mike is how he 
> > wears his heart on his sleeve, and tells you what he really thinks.
> To 
> > quote Proverbs 27:6, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an
> enemy 
> > multiplies kisses."
> >
> > Stephen
>
> By contrast, why I have found is that Mike's arguments tend toward the
> following:
>
> "So what you're saying is <gross exaggeration of what you said>"
> "That's exactly the kind of thing that a <attack the speaker>"
> "You obviously don't know what you're talking about"
> "You're wrong, and furthermore, <insert entirely new topic>"

My experience is that everyone uses these kinds of tactics, most likely 
largely unconsciously.  We tend to notice them in other people only when 
we disagree with them.

If you are going to sustain conversations with people with whom you 
fundamentally disagree, you really have to swallow this kind of stuff. 
The only other option is to only speak with people you mostly agree 
with, but you don't grow very much that way.

Finally, all of these argument tactics can be given a different spin. 
For example, the first argument could be seen as someone merely trying 
to test the logical consequences of taking your position to its extreme.

(I do happen to know one individual - a faculty member at MU - who 
doesn't use this kind of polemic.  He is one of the most honorable 
people I have ever met, but it does come with a bit of a sacrifice - he 
tends to see the other person's point of view too easily, even if the 
other person is being totally disingenuous.)

Stephen

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