[MLUG - DISCUSSION] Missouri Logic

["Christian M. Cepel" <EMAIL:PROTECTED>]

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Missouri. He shot and 
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a 
fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his 
tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck. It fell in this field, and now 
I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming 
over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the 
United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you.

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we 
settle disputes in Missouri. We settle small disagreements like this 
with the "Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first 
I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back 
and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that 
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local 
custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the 
attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed 
workboot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His 
second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his 
mouth.  The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his 
rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his 
feet.   Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you 
old fart. Now it's my turn."

       (I love this part....)

The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."


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