RE: [MLUG - DISCUSSION] why there are very few chicks on mlug --the answer (I think)

["Spurling, Shannon" <EMAIL:PROTECTED>]

I would also like to point out that I have a very good reason for not wanting to date women with children. It may sound a little selfish, but I want to start my own family first, before I try to raise someone else's. Just like I would like to try to have my own kids before adopting others. That also factors into the age of the person I would want to date for that ultimate goal, she would have to be younger, because otherwise therre are all kinds of time and medical issues that could come into play. Now, if I were going to just go out with someone for fun and social interaction, there is no reason I would not go out with someone in those demographics you gave. Problem is, those people in those demographics are in a "Nesting" phase, and no matter how long they argue the point, their ultimate goal is to get some security. Not a bad goal, but it's not something they will get from me for the above cited reasons. There are plenty of nice single men who have already started one family and they are alone now for one reason or another. They need to stop trying to pick up on the 19 and 20 year olds and grow up.
Now, on the other hand, I'd like to say I agree whole heartedly with Michaels assessment. There are women out there who will not "Settle" for reality. They think that if a guy is available there must be some reason that no one else has taken him. In fact, I get the feeling that the more perfect the guy is, the more they suspect there is something hidden worng with him. I'm not perfect, but I think I'm a lot better than some of the jerks I see girls dating. I'm not bad looking, make a decent honest living, and I have a lot to offer. I'm not perfect, and they have to understand that, and know that I can't read minds, and sometimes I forget stuff. If I'm reminded, I will give things the attention they are due. I forget because I work in a high stress environment. It takes it's toll on your memory. Sometimes I just sit there trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing before that last crisis hit. Mt last girl friend thought I didn't care. That's way simplistic, and not very empathetic. I know a girl who was not dating. It's not that lots of guys didn't like her, it was because she never liked them. And then she would complain about not having a nice boyfriend. 
 
Shannon

	-----Original Message----- 
	From: Michael [mailto:EMAIL:PROTECTED] 
	Sent: Sat 6/8/2002 11:47 AM 
	To: EMAIL:PROTECTED 
	Cc: 
	Subject: RE: [MLUG - DISCUSSION] why there are very few chicks on mlug --the answer (I think)
	
	

	I doubt it. Nobody goes out with me and I know lots of women of every
	demographic. Maybe I'm to scary, ugly, poor, geeky.. whatever. Whatever
	the reason I know that it's still the men that hafta ask and the women who
	do the shooting down. If a woman doesn't get asked out she is trying to
	hang out with the wrong class of people for herself or just isn't
	proactive enough. It doesn't hurt for a woman to ask a guy. Either way the
	original point was that it was far easier for women to have a social life
	than for men which is why more men are lonely antiksocial geeks. ;)
	
	
	I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
	
	;):):-):):-):):-)8')
	Michael McGlothlin <EMAIL:PROTECTED>
	http://mlug.missouri.edu/~mogmios/projects/
	
	On Fri, 7 Jun 2002, Jonathan King wrote:
	
	>
	> On Fri, 7 Jun 2002, Michael wrote:
	>
	> > My theory.. guys do more geeky things.. like mailing lists.. because we
	> > have to beg, plead, bribe, charm, and spend to get women to go out with
	> > us.. it's just to much effort for to little response. Women on the other
	> > hand can pretty much find a guy to take them out anytime..
	>
	> I think you may be mistaken about the last thing.  Believe me, there are
	> *many* women who end up staying home a lot, and not because they are being
	> really picky.  In many cases, their mistake is to be outside of the
	> demographic that guys seem to be most interested in.  If you think that
	> sounds nuts, you should really take a look at a bunch of personals ads
	> some day.  *Most* of the guys of any age insist on (or prefer) women being
	> in their early 20s plus other weird criteria on top of that; women are
	> generally less picky about at least the age group.  Now, if you imagine
	> that there are equal numbers of men and women interested in dating, but
	> that (on average) a majority of the men are interested in and ask out the
	> (younger)  minority of the women, we can establish by the pigeon-hole
	> principle that there are women who do not get asked.  And then it isn't a
	> stretch to assume that some geeks take themselves out of the game
	> entirely, while other women who *would* like to date quickly find that the
	> fact that they already have one or more children is a stupendously good
	> way to reduce the number of times they are ever asked out.
	>
	> jking
	>
	>
	>
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